I´ve moved HERE and I wont be posting on this blog anymore.
I am not really sure what this is gonna amount into but amidst all the creative chaos I needed to do some relaxing painting. So I started to paint on paper abit. And thus decided for myself to not let any of these paintings take longer than one single sit-down. Plus I thought it would be pleasant to try and not have alot of emotional input on the motives to begin with. Just try to create a spontaneous atmosphere as I go, which is the total opposite to how I usually go about my business.
I call them windows. For now. Because I believe that is what they are; just glimpses through small windows into my subconsciousness. Art for me is not just aesthetics you see. Ofcourse aesthetics are big part of the art since that will always be what represents the surface. Henceforth, my subconscious will always be what represents all that other stuff. The things you might find if you delve upon it. It is not imperative that you do but that is how I like it to be.
We, me and some friends, have now launched a Clairvoyance paid beta right here: twww.gameofclairvoyance.com/buy
The game costs $5 while in beta and we will probably increase the price a little bit when it´s completely done.
Big thanks to the Humble Bundle people for letting us use the Humble Store Widget to sell the game.
Check out the trailer bellow if you may.
Is out. I did the poster/cover for it among other things. I am not going to dwell too much on this since Hotline is not my creation. It is not nurtured from my womb, I merely just interpreted what Cactus and Dennis was doing and thus….it is their voice that should be heard. You can listen by getting the game. Its on steam and other sorts of digital distribution channels (just google it, I know you are good at that sorta thing).
This is my mere addition to the postmodern (whatever the heck that means) top down fuck em up that is Hotline Miami.
Is not enough no.
Today I found out I got rejected for a scholarship from Konstnärsnämnden. I didnt really expect them to grant me one to begin with but as it turned out I got alot more disappointed then I thought I would to begin with, since yeah I had already expected it. Why is this I wonder? Well, to begin with it is not the first time this has happened when I try to get some kind of recognition from any of the Swedish Art Institutions. In fact, I have never received anything even remotely resembling positive feedback from these institutions.
First time me and Erik applied for free money from These Guys they were like “Yes we will totally give you Free Money!”.
It seems they liked what we do.
And I am basically doing the same thing with my paintings as I am doing with my graphics. Its just the tools that are different. I started to wonder why the balls have rolled this way and I think it has alot to do with the fact that the art world is so heavily burned by old algorithms and constitutions whereas the videogame world is a totally new thing that hasn’t really acquired any set of “rules” of how things should look and be done yet. So everyone is just, more or less, only excited over what people will come up with and thus their minds are more open and not corrupted by history, because there isnt much uva history to talk about.
And also; everybody in the art world seems to compete with each other as well as trying to infect the others work and success with petty hate and jealousy. Which sucks because it is just the tools and animations of a small mind. And artists are supposed to have great minds. Well, I am generalizing here of course and I am not really blaming the players as much as the game itself.
But more also; everybody in the videogame world just seems to be stoked about each others work and so far it seems to me that they only try to promote one and other while not trying to sprinkle fucking hate and shit.
This is why most of the interesting things that are happening in the art world are actually not taking place in the art world but in the videogame world (eventhough they are comprised of the same world).
I do have more matters and questions on the topic to think about and discuss but for now I just wanted to get this one out there.
Maybe I am a little bitter who knows. It si really no big deal when you think about it. People should just do what they do and not give a fuck about money.
Too bad though then that we live in a world which currently promotes material success above all else.
I am trying to promote love and emotion: currency of the soul. I am not trying to intelectualize too much about it since I believe that art is not something that needs to be interesting. It just needs to be something that speaks to you in whatever way and whatever form in such a manner that whatever is inside of your fleshy shell grows a little bit.
My taste drives me to believe though that this is not something you achieve by cutting characters out of black and white pictures. Obviously.
Oil on paper 30 * 30 (cm)
My camera sucks. It has been a long and righteous, wait lets make do with functioning, asset in my wanderings for inspiration and documentation of surroundings. In these areas it is quite a wondrous little contraption that wheighs almost nothing and is quick from the holster.
But for taking pictures of my pictures it sucks. I know I´ve been down this road before but it has become more apparent lately as my girlfriend got herself a really flamboyant piece of equipment.
That camera rocks.
But we are not here to disguss cameras are.
This piece has been hanging on my wall for almost a month. I wasnt sure I was done with it but I never got around to “fix” it. But then I have been quite ambivalent as of late. Thowards most things. For whatever reasons I dont know but….It seems to me I am scared.
Scared of what will become of me, scared of the cold world, scared of my future, excpectations, people.
I´ve been putting a lot of thought into this whereas why I would feel this way. There is no single clear explanation for this, so far. Things goes up and down I guess. And I dont really suffer I just put a little too much energy into thinking about it and that fatigues me and obstructs my ability to work. Work properly, at least. Doubt is a heavy burden to bare.
So I am absolutely possetively sure I´m not the only one feeling like this from time to time. And how do we cope with it? I know I hide it. To some extent at least. I dont wann drag around my worries all the time and sport a negative attitude because that will get me nowhere. Of course you need to search for, hopefully find, comfort in your friends when the time is right. But it seems to be that these battles must be chosen and not fought in every single topic.
So we hide. Our emotions become clandestine to our surroundings and most poeple will not know what goes on and dwells deep within the lands of our secrets. It is quite sad really but a friend of mine once said that once you grow up it is up to our parents to pamper with us.
Maybe this is true and well but I still do feel that if one walks around with a heavy heart one should be able to find consolation amongst friends and fellow beings. Sometimes it almost seems that folks are afraid of individuals who has serious ponderings and doubts. Why is this? Is it because they fear that it is contagious? Some do say that fear is. But I always thought they meant The Fear Of Wolves.
Harry Martinsson once said that we all must take responsibility for our guilt. That we cannot point fingers. For humanity to cope and thrive we must all care for each other and realize that everyone has their place and that isolation is a very short term solution.
To suffer is not to be ashamed. It is just a burden one must bare and those around you must ease. Without fear.
But. It is also good to find ones own way through the darkness. To come out on the other end with newfound hope, lust and inspiration. And to understand that one can by their hands and their head alone to find courage as well as peace.
It is just that its a fucking drag while yer in it.
Thus. I wanted to illustrate going to a party with such a condition. To Illustrate just that crucial moment when the line is about to be crossed and you put on your mask to show that everything is ok. Eventhough it might not be so and the world poses as a haze. To illustrate how alone we can sometimes be even amongst friends. Eventhough they may all mean well.
Clandestine Emotions. Oil on canvas. 123 x 94 (cm).
But while a voice
Within me cries
Im sure someone may answer my call
And this bitter earth
May not seem so bitter